Category: Managing emotions

People Pleaser, Pt. 2

Another big indicator that we are people pleasers is that we do things out of a sense of duty instead of desire. In other words, we do something for someone because we feel obligated or because it is expected of us. We are afraid if we don’t do it, others will get mad at us or think badly of us. But doing things because we feel forced to do them or are fearful of being rejected is doing things for the wrong reason.

Now, please understand that we do not have to want to do everything we need to do. There are some things that we are required to do, and if we don’t do them, problems develop. I may not want to or feel like cleaning my house, but if I never clean it, things will become disorganized, out of order and very stressful. You and I may not want to do the laundry, but if we never do it, we will eventually run out of clothes to wear.

So there is a balance in this area that God will help us find. We just need to remove the pressure and expectations from others so that they do not feel obligated to do something for us. In the same way, we need to get out from under the pressure and expectations of others to do something for them.

God may not show you the complete picture of what He’s calling you to do before you even get started. But He will guide each small step that you take.

Let’s look at Numbers 9:18. It says, “At the Lord’s command the Israelites journeyed, and at [His] command they encamped. As long as the cloud rested upon the tabernacle they remained encamped.”

I love that they didn’t try to go where God wasn’t leading them. Just imagine how much better our lives would be if we did the same thing! You know, it’s not the end of the world when we make a mistake or get side-tracked because God will always help us find our way back. Don’t let your mistake mark the end of the road, but rather a road to a new beginning.

Think what a beautiful thing it will be to look back at your life and remember the journey you’ve had with God; to celebrate the ways He has worked in your life. I want to share a bit of my journey with you because if you can see where I started in comparison to the ministry you see today, you’ll realize: There’s no way it could happen without God! But with God, all things are possible.

In fact, the only thing we ever have to be concerned about in life is, Am I following God?

If you feel something strongly in your heart, step out and find out.

Don’t let other people make your decisions. Follow God’s destiny for your life. Find what’s going to fulfill you—and start embracing all that you’re meant to be in Christ. Choose boldness!

The Power of Hope

“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]” — John 16:33 (AMP)

Hope is favorable and confident expectation; it’s an expectant attitude that something good is going to happen and things will work out, no matter what situation we’re facing. Zechariah 9:12 (AMP) says, “Return to the stronghold [of security and prosperity], you prisoners of hope; even today do I declare that I will restore double your former prosperity to you.”

I like the phrase “prisoners of hope.” Think about it… If you’re a prisoner, you have no choice about it – you can’t be negative. And when times are tough or you’re dealing with disappointment, hope will cause you to rise up in faith and say, “God, I praise You and I believe You’re working on this situation and working in me. My faith, trust and hope are in You!”

Hope is determined and doesn’t give up. God wants us to be locked up in hope, trusting that He can change what needs to be changed, that we can do what He wants us to do, and that all things are possible with God. If we will be steadfast in our hope, we can’t lose – we have to be winners in life.

When God called me to ministry, it didn’t happen overnight. There were many years of preparation and building up. During those years, I wanted to quit many times. But my testimony is, I’m still here! And if you won’t give up, you’ll have victory too.

Human nature is impatient, selfish and wants things quickly. Why is it that although it takes us years to get into our messes, we expect God to get us out of them in a few days?  In John 16:33, Jesus tells us that we are going to have tribulation, trials, distress and frustration in this world, but in spite of that, we can be of good cheer and take heart. Why? Because He has overcome the world. And when we live in Him, we become overcomers too!

That’s why Jesus died for us. He came to save us from sin and death and to give us abundant life – now. And I’m determined to have everything Jesus died to give me.

Make a decision to have everything Jesus died to give you. You have to do it on purpose. Be determined to do what God wants you to do and refuse to live with negative expectations. Ask God to help you live in hope and declare by faith, “Something good is going to happen to me!”

Boldness in Christ

“But as for you, the anointing (the sacred appointment, the unction) which you received from Him abides [permanently] in you….” — I John 2:27

God has great plans for our lives. It’s exciting when He puts dreams and desires in our hearts, but it can also be challenging. Because fear always comes against us when we try new things. That’s how the enemy tries to keep us from moving forward—through fear. But instead of giving in to our fears, we can choose to be bold, confident and courageous through Christ.

It’s important to understand that courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s moving forward when you feel afraid. And if we will do that, God will lead us straight through our fears into His perfect will for our lives.

God doesn’t want us to live timid, shy, weak, wimpy, fearful, boring lives. He wants us to be bold, confident and courageous, unafraid to try new things. And it never ceases to amaze me what God will do through a person who simply steps out in faith.

In the Bible, Joshua is a great example of someone who took a step of faith in the face of fear. You see, when Moses died, God charged Joshua with the huge task of leading the people of Israel into the Promised Land. Fear must have come against him at every turn. But Joshua pressed past his fears so he could embrace his God-given destiny.

When God asks you to leave the familiar behind, let His Word encourage you to keep moving forward. Because when you step into what God has for you, His anointing makes the impossible possible.

First John 2:27 says, “But as for you, the anointing (the sacred appointment, the unction) which you received from Him abides [permanently] in you….”

I want you to let that sink in: God’s anointing abides permanently in you. So why should you live a boring life when there’s a great life available to you?

I encourage you to trust that what you feel down deep in your heart really is God.

You may not get a lot of encouragement from your family and friends, especially in the beginning. But if you’ll be bold enough to follow God instead of your fears, He will prove Himself to you.

Let God Do the Healing

O Lord my God, I cried out to You and You have healed me. —Psalm 30:2

James A. Garfield became president of the United States in 1880 and was shot in the back six months later, in July 1881.

After the shooting, a doctor tried to remove the bullet, but couldn’t. In the following weeks, more doctors probed his wound to try to locate the bullet, to no avail. Eventually, Alexander Graham Bell provided an electrical device doctors thought might locate the bullet, but that didn’t work. Doctors later learned that sometimes removing a bullet causes more trouble than leaving it alone.

Garfield died on September 19, 1881, not as a result of his wound, but because of infection and hemorrhage that probably developed after so much probing for the bullet. The very thing physicians thought would heal Garfield ended up killing him.

When you have a “wound” of some sort, whether it’s a disappointment, a betrayal, being abandoned or rejected or some other hurtful situation, don’t keep probing it. Go to God and ask Him to heal you in the way He knows is best for you. Then take your hands off. Don’t try to “fix” yourself, but do follow the Holy Spirit as He leads you into healing and wholeness.

Love Yourself Today: Is there a wound in your heart that you have probed too much? Ask God to heal it; stay sensitive to His Spirit; and let Him bring new life and strength to you.

Increasing Your Peace

1. See the value of peace. Maybe you need to take peace a little more seriously. If you don’t think it’s a big deal to lose your temper, worry all day or get stressed out, you may have underappreciated the gift of peace more than you realize. Read 1 Peter 3:11.

2. Take inventory of where you spend your time. Do you have an unsustainable life? Maybe you have way too much on your plate, but you keep saying yes to things and filling up your calendar. Remember that Jesus designed us to be fruitful, not busy. So cut away the branches that are not bearing fruit.

3. Trust God. Believers in Christ are supposed to believe, right? That means we trust what He says in His Word and completely give everything over to Him. When we do that, we enter His rest (peace). Read Proverbs 3:5.

4. Decide not to be a people pleaser. It’s impossible to keep all the people in your life happy all the time. This doesn’t mean you should be rude to them. Just don’t try to please someone at the expense of displeasing or being disobedient to God. Live to please Him first.

5. Mind your own business. I’ve learned that usually, the less I know about other people, the better off I am. Being nosy and spending energy trying to learn what others are doing or saying produces anything but peace in life. Read 1 Thes 4:11.

6. Let peace be the umpire of your life.  If you are thinking about doing something, but you don’t have peace about it, don’t do it—because if it’s not peaceful, it’s not God.

7. Do whatever you can to work toward simplicity. I’ve learned that the busier you are, the more important it is to have simplicity, which means sometimes it’s best to let things go instead of starting a war over something petty. Also, it might be simpler to not own so much stuff. Trying to take care of too much can just overwhelm and frustrate you.

Who’s Will? God or your own?

But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. — I Corinthians 2:14

It’s challenging sometimes to discern if what we want is in line with what God wants for us, because when we feel strongly about something, we can easily deceive ourselves into thinking it’s God’s will―and the devil will help us do it. He will even lead us to take Scripture out of context if it will keep us deceived and living in sin.

First Corinthians 2:14 says that to those in the world, truths revealed by the Spirit sound like foolishness. Only spiritual people can understand the things of the Spirit. And sometimes it’s even very difficult for spiritual people to do!

I can tell you that when you’re truly being led by the Spirit, your head can have a hard time understanding what God is doing, because He often seems unreasonable. He will do many things in your life that you just cannot understand.

I used to be so confused about some of the things God allowed to happen in my life. But when I look back at them today, I can say, “Now I know why that had to happen. Now I know why that took place.”
God knows more than we know, His ways are above our ways, and He has a better plan for our lives than we do. Instead of being led by our feelings, we need to be led by God, even when we don’t understand.

How to Manage Unstable Emotions

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.— Colossians 3:2

If we want to improve in this area, we have to let God show us some truth about ourselves. We need Him to reveal the root of our problem because if we see it, we can deal with it, and then we can avoid the feelings that come from it. So we can pray for God to reveal those things to us. But feelings are unpredictable by nature, so we also need to learn how to manage them when they change unexpectedly.

It’s amazing how you can straighten up your attitude just by having a little chat with yourself. Your family may not be everything you’d like them to be, but you have a family. Your house might not be everything you’d like it to be, but you’re not on the street. You may not like your job, but somebody out there wants it. You may not even like your spouse, but I guarantee you there’s someone out there who would be happy to take them off your hands.

Victory is pretty much impossible until we learn how to live beyond our feelings.

They can change so quickly! Feelings make us cry one hour and laugh the next. They behave better when circumstances are good, and they act up during periods of waiting and change. I want you to master your feelings. I want you to own your emotions, not let them own you.

Colossians 3:2 says we should set our mind and keep it set on things above. If you will make a decision today to live by the Word instead of how you feel, I guarantee that a year from now you will be a different person—and I hope, very pleased with your progress.